Notes from a small island + the impact of racism on our health
+ what we can do about it. (i refuse to use coloniser flags so imagine the emojis here)
Thanks for being here and i hope you are as well as can be in these times 💜
Before we jump in, a note to say, if you’ve been thinking about becoming a supporter of this space, now would be a great time as i’m trying to pay my rent tomorrow and not be homeless. Yes, real. Yes it’s embarrassing when you’re working so hard to come back after being so unwell for so long.
So if i’ve ever brought value to your world either here or elsewhere, i’d appreciate any tiny miracles and you can become a paid supporter here. In return, you can access tools, resources and even a mini 1:1 with me.
You can also ‘buy me some carrots’ here as a one-off if you’d prefer to do that.
I also have an upcoming online workshop later this month. Plus selling my wares to raise funds (deets below!)
Prayers also welcomed as is a sweet commission (some of my work here).
Thanks for your support.
I’d like to, if I may, share a little reflection on: this current situation where you find me upon a small island, which feels smaller by the day.
It’s been a horrendous few days. More terrifying than the far right becoming more emboldened, (cause as i’ve been saying, 2016 was a big shift and hate that I called it back then) is those who seem shocked or surprised or even dismissive by this current fascist display who share unhelpful, defensive and tbh, patronising bleats of “this isn’t us!”
It IS. Always has been.
They are our teachers and head teachers and our co-workers and dentists and doctors and shopkeepers and neighbours. They are working in offices and universities and letting agencies and museums and in ‘culture’ and funding bodies and are not-for-profit workers and ‘wellness’ enthusiasts and yoga teachers and pilates guides and creative coaches and landlords and therapists and police-people. If you’re extra-unlucky, they are also family members.
Now what?
I don’t feel any safer. I certainly felt sickened when, on an evening walk (for my mental and physical health no less) last week, i stumbled upon the entire seafront ablaze with union jack and st georges flags. As far as the eye could see. This chilling sight, after a week of scuffles with a few of these flags being raised here-and-there.
I’d noticed there was a growing presence at their usual meeting point in the city centre -also with flags- where I unfortunately encountered their threatening display and stood agape in meditation-freeze, long before this week’s events occurred…on ‘hot’ days, i usually take my ‘secret walkways’ avoiding ‘hotspots’, you know, all the long-ass things you do to avoid these exhausting encounters every time you leave home. (i realise upon writing, there are many who do not have to even think about this, which must be freeing in a way i struggle to imagine)
But this message with an uncountable number of new flags was loud and clear.
I was stunned, frozen and frightened. People walked past, looked at me, looked at the flags, smirked and continued walking.
This “isn’t us!” chat doesn’t land when you are used to people watching you getting harassed on the street, shouted at, shit thrown at you whilst their eyes avert, walking away. The sickening feeling which churns the stomach is the same. The absence of solidarity cause no one has your back. The lack of protection or support, instead isolation by their inaction. Heads in the sand, standing aside to let things happen is a big part of why we’re in the place we’re in.
Disembodiment.
In 2014 I wrote an article about my experience in Norway called ‘On: “the Other” and speaking out in Norway’. It went viral. As much as I had multiple people who read and got it and sadly shared my experience (often privately with me due to their fear and weariness of the incessant gaslighting of course), but I also received hate and threats from multiple trolls, and shit got scary. There was no protection from NRK, the place it was published, instead an opportunist asked to republish my self-published piece, unpaid no less, and i, perhaps naively, agreed.
There’s a familiar feeling of being bait to uncaring, selfish and extractive people, as well as organisations who require supply and have no care for those harmed. I’d experienced trolling, harassment and bullying before, but this was on a much larger scale.
What was particularly distressing was the absence of safeguarding or concern for my wellbeing. It was painful that many bystanders remained silent, and that some people reacted defensively, e.g. dismissing my accounts of racism by saying, “You just HATE Norway, don’t you?” (this, from someone I worked for at a yoga studio fyi, where i’d previously experienced similar issues getting it in the ear years before).
All I’d done is speak on my experience there, which undoubtedly included a lot of racism…Do you know the lengths I go, to filter this text to make a soft landing? To dilute the vile treatment I’d experienced (and continue to experience)?
I had a breakdown after that.
let’s take a breath or two shall we? ✨
It’s not lost on me I can cite multiple horrors and tragedies due to far right violence in both countries and beyond.
I am familiar with how this plays out. A small selection of examples: I grew up being chased by Skinheads and NF in the 1980s. Growing up in council estates where yes, slurs were ever-available, daubed on walls or spat from mouths. Bullied by racist kids in the uk at countless schools into adulthood (how they love a “n-word” and to talk a lot about what they want to do to you!), harassed by teachers who found fault with the colour of my skin, who’d interrogate my heritage with a sadistic hunger, then display me in costumes for class entertainment, and who stood up and protected racist bullies.
I’ve been practicing yoga officially since the late 90s (but i like to say the year 2000) and teaching since 2010, a space RIFE with racism.
I am currently on year out from my MFA at (as i’m repeatedly told) ‘one of the world’s top universities’. I understand the language, I recognise the dog whistles. I see the enablers who appear in very arguably-different ‘code’. Presenting as ‘good’ drives them. And I hope I’m clear: they might not be white, for you can still be anti-black.
Yes, this kind of behaviour is abhorrent to me. But tbh I also prefer to know where the racists are. Cause those lurking, fronting, self-described ‘good liberals’ are those I have to protect myself from the most. Because they want to get as close as they can to you. Whilst despising you. A covert operation. There’s a few on this mailing list who I am certain snarl as they see me ‘land’ - may they suck a dick.
Yes, this is beyond the small mentalities of the individual or even the larger mob. This is systemic. Entrenched. The whole thing needs a good flush, repair then rebuild, for there are Other ways of Being. But-and-also, the personal is political, lived experience carries potency, and despite attempts to numb-out or ignore the suffering, it will inevitably come for us all, for once they are done with us (those who are perceived to be ‘minority’ by a limited perspective), they will move to those next in line.
This isn’t a threat, this is white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchal, cisnormative systems of oppression in action. It lives and breathes it. Leeches and feeds on it.
a break for a protection spell - here’s a song i made 🧚🏽
I remember in one of
excellent masterclasses on: Depression a few years ago, as with every session, i’m grateful we discuss the ‘social body’ and how we have to be connected to it in order to survive. Those who experience racism might already know this, but the effects of racism, an extreme form of ostracism, puts you at high and serious risk of health issues - and there are many studies to back this up.We’re talking stress, depression, anxiety, inflammation, heart disease to name a mere few. It impacts sleep, not just in duration but quality (hello- anyone else?). There are more barriers to accessing health resources, and when you do, it can be deadly (e.g. maternal death stats of black women. Also there are links between discrimination and increased risk of mental illness, cardiovascular disease, and other conditions)
Some references here (us study) and here (if you want a uk-centric paper). As i said there are multiple studies so sharing those which aren’t behind a paywall.
So what can we do about it?
I’m sharing some tools and further resources to help support and hold. Scroll on for those. But first: feeling.
another breath or two ✨ how do you feel? ✨ where do you feel it?
Solidarity to those who are quite literally, sick and tired.
Or simply, bored and side-eying because we have lived through this and nothing changes…Cause you’d rather be doing anything else than having to relive, or see another viral video of this shit.
Or have to use precious spoons of very-little energy speaking/writing about it, because you have to somehow find a way to pay the fu<k!ng rent tomorrow and you have no idea how you’re going to do that and now you’ve lost three days of work in your multiple jobs JUST TRYING TO BE OK because the energy it takes to tend and soothe and repair your nervous system whilst being chronically ill and disabled with no support- - - - it’s a tax you can never afford::::
✨ a breath and a word: May we be safe, feel some kind of connection to safety and safe-enough people who don’t watch on silently nor observe for their entertainment. May our food always continue to be seasoned and skin moisturised. May we access good rest.✨
I hope for action and change (and less of those passive “listening-and-learning” whilst scrolling-and-consuming)
🎶 Don't want to do the dishes. Just want to eat the food….
But what you gonna do when they saw all your moves and practiced em daily
Protect your neck or give invitations? 🎶
✨ i call upon the ancestors for strength and support. 🕯 spells of protection ✨ water blessings 🌊
Ways to support // be supported
To those who want to help me afford my rent this week, but also want to receive access heaps of free resources like video classes and live replays for tending to your nervous system, vlogs, plus my archive of posts behind the paywall, you can do so here.
And plis, not for guilt. But cause you have been thinking about it and actually want to.
Note: I’ve also updated my ‘Founding members’ tier, where you can get a 1:1 25 minute call with me. Call can be mini-creative coaching/consulting/mentoring chat (a smaller version of my full offering) or a somatic movement class or body-doubling. I’ll be in touch.
OR for those who have asked to ‘pick my brains’ for your funded research or paid jobs etc- this one is for you!
(I’d love to say “yes!” to all the requests for my free labour -and always used to!- but i am but one human and the struggle to exist in this current sitch is real. Thanks for understanding.)
I’m also selling what i own to try to raise some funds - clothes, coats (they have been going quick!), shoes here (and updating daily). If you’re interested in something there but are based outside the uk, let me know and i’ll put it on ebay. Also selling records (shipping internationally) here.
Hoping things i’ve loved get a good home.
More resourcesssssss
Connecting to our bodies helps us to not only take up literal space and potentially release tension, it can also help us cultivate a sense of trust and belonging, agency and emotional regulation (this is also why i place pauses and prompts throughout the text)
So here’s some classes for your bones and connective tissues with some notes:
For when you have energy you need to shift:
For when you’re stressed but want an active-passive class which balances effort + surrender:
For when you need to CALM DZOWN and unwind, but get into the nooks and crannies from the day - any time but especially before bedworld:
For when you’ve got a little more time and want some ease deluxe
For when you have 5 minutes and need to LAND - ASAP!
More things for context to this post:
there’s a collection of my Stories here in case you missed them. you know i don’t like to platform the hatred based on the colour of someone’s skin cause it’s traumatic to see this shit all the time (and experience it day-to-day) so am avoiding that here bar this next one.
He never misses!
I'd planned a different post for today but here we are! i’ll see how energy goes and try to send it later this week. Paid supporters of this space, i’m tremendously grateful for you again and again for being here. 💜
Free Europe! Solidarity with all nations affected by the rot of ‘Empire’ and fascism and as always 🇵🇸
Peace, ease and much, much care,
Dionne 💜
ps i can’t make this up but was about to send this and someone walks past the window and loudly says to their companion for the road to hear “…and Bob Marley’s father was white…and he actually got a lot of hatred from….” 🥴 and this is where we begin-end friends. someone’s unsolicited take and ‘whataboutisms’ …and yes, they were. file this under: anyone who has ever sent me a DM about ‘Irish slaves’. (me: with Irish ancestry!) please miss me with these hot takes cause google is free baybeee!
References / bibliography :
On: “the Other” and speaking out in Norway / Om “de Andre”, og å tørre å si sin mening i norge : Here’s a link to the piece with a norwegian translation below the text in english.
Sidenote: due to my aforementioned breakdown I haven’t been able to look at this since that time, but just read it and: still stands, HELLO! (Can also be adapted and applied to multiple countries and yes, I can speak of this lived experience in numerous)
- ‘ Substack is a tremendous resource and you can find aforementioned Masterclasses along with more on her website here.
Williams, D.R., Mohammed, S.A., Leavell, J. & Collins, C., 2013. Racism and health I: Pathways and scientific evidence. American Behavioral Scientist, 57(8), pp.1152-1173. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3863357/ [Accessed 15 September 2025].
Hackett, R.A., Ronaldson, A., Bhui, K., Steptoe, A. and Jackson, S.E., 2020. Racial discrimination and health: a prospective study of ethnic minorities in the United Kingdom. BMC Public Health, 20, p.1652. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-020-09792-1 [Accessed 15 September 2025].